She asked my ex to the Sadie Hawkins  dance. That. Bitch.

Now, I honestly don’t give a shit about him dating anyone. It’s just her. She’s an extremely fickle girl who is unintelligent, has horrible taste in music, and is incredibly obnoxious. Not only that, but she has not ONCE taken my feelings into consideration. She has not once asked me if it was okay to go after him. She is well aware I dated him and that I was serious about him. Yet, she’s selfish.

And now, speech season has started. Just came from our second meet today. I took 3rd in honor humor finals. She took seventh in novice. And she was sulking after she got an award… All I could think was—

And just last week she was SO excited because she scored a ‘2’ in a round like me (2 meaning she placed second for that round) and of course, she neglected the fact that she was in NOVICE for crying out loud and I was in varsity. Kept thinking “Yeah, come play with the big boys and see how you hold up”. It’s horrible for me to say I’m excited for her to get into normal meets and compete against EVERYONE. I don’t want her to fail, she just needs to stop having such an ego and be thankful for what she’s been given.

She just ANGERS me sometimes. They way she acts like she knows EVERYTHING and that everyone should listen to her… but if you say anything bad about her, she’ll cry. And cry. And cry. Or make excuses… that are completely invalid….

I just…

WANT TO SCREAM AT HER.

but I’m a little sad… my heart hurts :(

I dedicated my thoughts and prayers to him… but is he… playing me like a fool? I want to be his and only his… and I want him to be mine and only mine… damn distance… screws everything up.
 

He awoke from a dream about me, crying. Then he asked me if I was going to leave him.

He called me because he was worried about me. It was because I wasn’t sleeping because I just watched a horror movie.

He says things like honey, babe, sweetie, and baby.

It hurts to look at his picture and know he’s half a world away. I want to reach out and touch him. Run my fingers through his hair and along his nose. Trace his jawline. Actually feel the heat of his body. I want to be able to see him. Not through videos, chats, and pictures… but see him infront of me.

6000 miles.

He still has his military service to complete. I’m scared for him.

My heart is captivated on the other side of the world. My parents don’t really understand this. I couldn’t even being to explain it to them. My mom might not freak out on me about it but my dad… I’m not so sure. They took away my internet and my laptop (at a friend’s house rn :P thankyouverymuch). They told me that I needed to focus on “Good old (insert town name with around 500 people in it)” not Korea. I don’t think they realize the level of which I have connected with him at. They took away the main medium of our contact.

He said he’ll call more. So far, he has. I’m just hoping it stays that way.

Long story short, I made a mistake. My parent’s are mad. I’m not going to be online for a long time.

I’m sorry.

I’m not sure when I’ll long on next. Forgive me.

…and you know you can’t do anything to stop them—

Realize you have homework due tomorrow in the middle of the night—

Curse at homework and swear to do it when you wake up—

Wake up and on your way to school when it hits you like—

And you spend the rest of the way cursing yourself for not doing it—

Normal people’s use—

My use—

Much to their distaste…

Expectations—

Reality—

Eat ALL the feelings~!!

Does this have anything to do with my weight…? Heh… »

And the teacher looks at you like—

English speaking friends—

“Ya~ What’s it mean?!”

Me—

“Dumb bitch… if I wanted you to know… I would have posted in English~”

Korean friends—

Find out teacher/theatre director/speech coach thinks I’m a lesbian with a close friend of mine—

See teacher walk in room—

Run to my ‘lesbian lover’ like—

I’m not really helping our cause any but who really cares?

p.s. no offense to those who are. I’m the least homophobic a person can get. I just find the situation amusing.

Friends—

Me—

Everyone—

Maybe this says something about my anal retentiveness but… I can’t because I have my gifs sorted into sub folders…

Let’s say I wanted to find a fainting gif…

it’s be simple…

Gifs>Positive>Fangirl>Spazz>Fainting>”gif I wanted to use”

TADALEEFRIGGEN-DA

I have problems.